Q. What do you call a donkey on steroids? A. An ass-teroid!   PainfulPuns.com - Silly Questions + Dumb Answers = Punny Riddles

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Q. What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base? A. A Flat Major!
Q. What do you need to become an expert mechanic? A. Fine Motor Skills!
Q. Why is tennis such a noisy game? A. Because both players raise a racket!
Q. Why are vampire families so close? A. Because blood is thicker than water!
Q. How di Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? A. He forgot to wrap his Whopper!


Funny Riddles, Confused Questions, Sure Answers
Get hilarious answers to smart-ass questions, puzzling humor, and baffling riddles.

Riddle Jokes + Poser Puns = Funny Riddles
(Because Confusing Jokes and Punny Riddles Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You Stop to Think About It!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Skeptical jokes, doubtful humor, and perplexing puns explained ahead.
| Funny Riddles Answered! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |

Q. What do you call the ability to see a hundred years into the future? A. Extra-Century Perception!Q. How Did the Piglet with Laryngitis Feel? A. He was a little disgruntled!

Q. What do you call an equine that wears condoms?
A. Trojan Horse.

Q. Why don't race horses wear underwear?
A. Because it rides up on them.

Q. How does a horse from Kentucky greet another equine?
A. With southern horse-pitality!

Q. Why did the blonde stand behind the horse?
A. She thought she'd get a kick out of it.

Q. Why was the psychic fair canceled?
A. Due to unseen circumstances.

Q. Why didn't the guy have a psychic girlfriend?
A. She left him before they even met.

Unanswered Riddle: What is the favorite joke of all you mind readers out there?

Unanswered Riddle: Why do you need an appointment if your psychic already knows you're coming?

Unanswered Riddle: If two psychics read each other's minds, are they just reading their own?

Q. How do you get a sick pig to the hospital?
A. In a Hambulance!

Q. What do you call a pig that's no fun to be around?
A. A Boar!

Q. Which kind of social gatherings do pigs like the most?
A. Sow-prise parties!

Q. Why are books about pigs always so interesting?
A. Because there's always a twist in the tale!

Q. Why don't Americans eat snails? A. Because they like fast food!Q. What grows up while growing down? A. A GooseQ. What did Darth Vader say when he visited a vegan restaurant? A. I find your lack of steak disturbing!

Q. What happens when two snails get into a fight?
A. They slug it out!

Q. How does a snail call home?
A. With a shell phone.

Q. Where do you find giant snails?
A. On the ends of giant fingers.

Q. Why did the snail paint a big S on his automobile?
A. Because he wanted everyone to notice that S Car Go by.

Q. What happened to the goose whose feathers all pointed the wrong way?
A. She was tickled to death!

Q. What is a goose's favorite television show?
A. The feather forecast!

Q. Why couldn't anybody see the goose?
A. Because it was in da skies.

Q. What language does a goose speak?
A. Portu-geese!

Q. Why did Darth Vader throw steaks at Luke Skywalker?
A. So he could meat his destiny!

Q. What did a sweet potato say to Luke Skywalker?
A. I yam your father.

Q. Which star Wars character works at a restaurant?
A. Darth Waiter.

Q. What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing?
A. Darth Wader.

Q. How does a sea captain use amphibians? A. As frog horns.Q. What is a pickle's favorite game show? A. Let's Make A Dill!Q. What do you call a sleeping bull? A. Bull Dozer

Q. What is a toad's favorite flower?
A. The Croak-Us!

Q. Why are frogs so happy?
A. Because they eat whatever bugs them!

Q. Why was the tadpole feeling so lonely?
A. Because he was newt to the area.

Q. Why are frogs so good at basketball?
A. They always make the jump shots.

Q. What happens when two nervous frogs collide?
A. They get tongue-tied.

Q. What is a cucumber's favorite letter?
A. They always pick L!

Q. What do you call a cucumber that's a sore loser?
A. A sour pickle.

Q. What does a skeptical pickle say?
A. Are you gherkin my chain?

Q. When should you put pickles in your door?
A. When it's ajar!

Q. What do you call people who post particularly funny pickle puns?
A. Dilly Silly!

Q. What do you call a grumpy cow?
A. Moo-dy.

Q. What do you call a really strong cow?
A. Beefy.

Q. Why did the beef herd return to the cannabis field?
A. It was a classic case of the pot calling the cattle back. Plus, the steaks have never been higher!

Q. How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A. You have to wait until she busts a moove.

Q. What do you call a building that's dangerously leaning to one side? A. Real estate listing!Q. What do you get if you cross a smurf and a cow? A. Blue CheeseQ. Who do pirates call if they break a leg? A. Their Carrrpenter!

Q. What do you need to know to be a realtor specializing in vacant land?
A. Lots.

Q. What do you call the down payment to buy an apartment?
A. The condo-minimum.

Q. Is a man's home his castle?
A. Yes, in a manor of speaking.

Q. What is a realtor's favorite sexual position?
A. The comissionary position.

Q. What do you call a very sad cow?
A. Mooved to tears.

Q. Why was the cheesemonger lopsided?
A. Because he only had one Stilton.

Q. What goes oom oom?
A. A cow walking backward.

Q. What do weightlifting cows have for dessert?
A. Beefcake!

Q. What do you call a cheese with curly hair?
A. Perm-esan.

Q. What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
A. Hop in!

Q. What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
A. Eileen.

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms an no legs in a pile of fall leaves?
A. Russel.

Q. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A. Wherever you left him.

| Funny Riddles, Dumb Answers | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |
| Am I Crazy? | Am I Funny? | Are You Kidding? | What Rhymes with Orange? | Are You Drunk? |
| Have You Seen Bigfoot? | Are You An Alien? | Why Do Vampires Bite? | Are You a Winer? |
| Why Are Hipsters Hip? | What Time Is It? | Where Am I? | Am I High? | Am I a Superhero? |
| Do I Need a Doctor? | Am I Dead? | Why Did the Cow Jump Over the Moon? | Is It Friday Yet? |

PainfulPuns Home
You've lasted this far, so here's even more mind-boggling humor,
bewildering jokes, and befuddling painful puns that'll baffle you later:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Riddles | Colorado Jokes | Colorful Riddles | Fitness Questions | Farm Riddles | Gnome Answers |
| Questionable Music Puns | Pet Riddles | Pick-Up Lines | Painful Puns | Pirate Jokes | Scary Funny Riddles |
| Sci-Fi Wonders | Seasonal Riddles | Sports Jokes | Tech Support Riddles | Travel Jokes | Weather Riddles |

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Garden Puns, Green Groaners Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor

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