Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor? A. Because it wasn't peeling well!   PainfulPuns.com - Silly Questions + Dumb Answers = Punny Riddles

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Q. How are false teeth like stars? A. Both only come out at night!
Q. Why don't single women fart? A. Because they don't have ass holes until they're married!
Q. What is a vampire's favorite dance? A. The Fangdango!
Crow  Chef Asks: Which fruit do you eat when you're sad? A. Blueberries!
Q. What was teh transvestite rooster's stage name? A. Dawn!

 


Perplexing Jokes, Funny Riddles, Puzzling Puns
Get iffy answers to questionable riddles, mysterious queeries, and mind-boggling enigmas.

Funny Riddles, Paradox Puns, Mystery Jokes
(Because Funny Riddles and Corny Brain-Teaser Jokes Could Never Be Mainstream Enough in 5th Grade)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Funny riddles, questionable jokes, and perplexing puns ahead.
| Funny Riddles Answered! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |

Q. What do you call a funny mountain? A. Hillarious!Q. What is the world's most popular wine? A. I don't like Brussels sprouts!Q. What do yu get if you cross a hamburger and a computer? A. A Big Mac!

Q. What kind of candy is a mountain's favorite?
A. Sno Caps.

Q. What happened to the mountain climber who broke his left arm and left leg?
A. He's all right now.

Q. What kind of jacket do you wear if you are mountain climing in Colorado?
A. A trail blazer.

Q. Why did the novice skier expect the worst after he got to the top of the mountain?
A. It's only downhill from there...

Q. Which wine variety acts as an anti-diuretic?
A. Pinot More.

Q. Which dog breed is more than happy to fetch you a glass of wine?
A. The Bordeaux Collie.

Q. How do you describe a wine hangover?
A. The Grape Depression.

Q. What is the best time to open a bottle of vino?
A. At wine o'clock.

Q. What did the hungry computer eat for lunch?
A. Chips, one byte at a time.

Q. Which song to hamburgers sing on the job?
A. Gristle While You Work.

Q. How can a hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?
A. Because it's fast food!

Q. Why was the greasy hamburger joint allowed to cook its books?
A. There's no accounting for taste!

Q. What did the alien dandelion say to the earth dandelion? A. Take Me To Your Weeder!Q. What is a great name for a barber? A. Les Offenbach!Q. How can you tell if a tree is nomadic? A. It packs up its trunk and leaves.

Q. What did the dandelion seed head say to the gardener?
A. Oh, just blow me!

Q. What is a dandelion?
A. A weedy fancy-dressed feline.

Q. What do you call a horny dandelion?
A. A weed wacker.

Q. What kind of flowers grow in outer space?
A. Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.

Q. What do you call several men waiting in line for a haircut?
A. A barber-cue.

Q. How did the barber win the race?
A. He took a short cut.

Q. How did the little boy feel about his first haircut?
A. He didn't like it at first, but then it grew on him.

Q. Why don't bald men need keys?
A. Because they've lost all their locks.

Q. Did you hear the latest joke about the tree?
A. It'll leaf you laughing.

Q. What's the best way to create a funny tree pun?
A. You have to really go out on a limb!

Q. What do trees wear to pool parties?
A. Swimming trunks.

Q. Why was the tree drooling?
A. Because it was a Dogwood.

Q. What do you need to become an expert mechanic? A. Fine Motor Skills!Q. What happened when the cow  tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? A. Udder DestructionQ. Why did the picture go to jail? A. It was framed!

Q. What do you call a man with a car on his head?
A. Jack.

Q. Which film was about really bad auto mechanics?
A. The Last and the Furious.

Q. Which film about auto mechanics won an Oscar?
A. Lord of the Springs.

Q. How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five. One to force it with a hammer, and four to shag out for more bulbs.

Q. What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?
A. A Cattle Battle.

Q. Why was the cow so afraid?
A. She was a cow herd.

Q. What happens if a cow laughs too hard?
A. She cow-lapses!

Q. What happened to that lost beef shipment?
A. Nobody's herd!

Q. What do you get if you sit under a cow?
A. A pat on the head!

Q. Why was the parrot in prison?
A. Because he was a jail bird.

Q. Why was the belt arrested?
A. For holding up a pair of pants!

Q. What do prisoners get for dessert?
A. Jaily beans.

Q. Where can you find a bunch of clowns who deserve to be in jail?
A. Silly Con Valley.

Q. What is a convicts favorite fishing lure?
A. Jail bait.

Q. If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay? A. A Bagel!Q. What do you call the study of seltzer & soft drinks? A. Fizzy-ology!Q. What do you get if you cross an electric eel and a sponge? A. A shock absorber.

Q. Why do crows tell really dumb jokes?
A. Just be-caws!

Q. What kind of birds spend a lot of time on their knees?
A. Birds of Prey.

Q. Which bird can lift the most weight?
A. A crane.

Q. What's noisier than a whooping crane?
A. A trumpeter swan.

Q. What kind of bird doesn't need a comb?
A. A bald eagle.

Q. Why did the guy quit his job crushing soft drink cans at the aluminum recycling center?
A. Because it was just soda pressing.

Q. Why did the guy at the Pepsi factory get fired?
A. He tested positive for Coke.

Q. Which USA state has the smallest soft drinks?
A. Mini-soda.

Q. Which soft drink do frogs and toads prefer?
A. Croak-a-Cola.

Q. What do you get if you cross a big fish with a power line?
A. An electric shark!

Q. What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster?
A. Pearls of Wisdom.

Q. What do you call a fish who wears an ascot?
A. So fish-ticated!

Q. Which fish is the best dressed?
A. The swordfish because they always look sharp!

| Funny Riddles, Dumb Answers | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |
| Am I Crazy? | Am I Funny? | Are You Kidding? | What Rhymes with Orange? | Are You Drunk? |
| Have You Seen Bigfoot? | Are You An Alien? | Why Do Vampires Bite? | Are You a Winer? |
| Why Are Hipsters Hip? | What Time Is It? | Where Am I? | Am I High? | Am I a Superhero? |
| Do I Need a Doctor? | Am I Dead? | Why Did the Cow Jump Over the Moon? | Is It Friday Yet? |


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