Q. What happened to the lost cattle? A. Nobody's herd!   PainfulPuns.com - Silly Questions + Dumb Answers = Punny Riddles

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Q. How did the hipster burn his tongue eating pizza? A. He ate it before it was cool!
Q. What do you get if a pig and a chicken bump into each other? A. Ham and Eggs!
Q. What do you call a bank that also carries gardening supplies? A. A savings and loam!
Q. What is the blood type of happy people? A. B Positive!
Q. What do you call a bathroom superhero? A. Flush Gordon!


Q + A Jokes, Funny Riddles, Puzzling Humor
Find simple answers to complicated questions, inquisitive riddles, and baffling jokes.

Ridiculous Riddles with Questionable Answers
(Because Funny Riddles with Clever Answers Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Complex Problems)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Curious jokes, wacky riddles, and puzzling puns to ponder ahead.
| Funny Riddles Answered! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |

Q. Why didn't anyone laugh at the gardener's jokes? A. Because they were too corny!Q. What do you call a vegetable with PMS? A. A Cab Bitch!Q. What is the difference between a miser and a canary? A. One's a little cheap & the other's a little cheeper.

Q. How are gardeners are like doctors?
A. Both bury their mistakes.

Q. Why are gardeners the best gossips?
A. Because growers have the best dirt.

Q. Why is The Hulk such a good Internet gardener?
A. He always backs up his sage! And, he bides his thyme on Twitter.

Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A. They're both difficult to get started, they emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

Q. What does a cabbage outlaw have?
A. A price on its head.

Q. What did the students learn when the teacher lectured about green leafy vegetables?
A. A chard lesson.

Q. What do you call a cabbage with a good attitude?
A. Head and shoulders above the rest.

Q. Which kind of flower should you avoid giving on Valentine's Day?
A. Cauliflower.

Q. What do duck like to watch on TV?
A. Duckumentaries.

Q. Where do birds invest their money?
A. The stork market?

Q. Where did the duck go when he was sick?
A. To the duck-tor

Q. What do you get if you kiss a duck?
A. A peck on the cheek.

Q. Where do bird royalty live?
A. At Duckingham Palace.

Q. What do you call a donkey that throws nuts to the moon? A. An ass-throw-nut!Q. What's the best way to communicate with a fish? A. Drop him a line!Q. Which Star Wars character uses meat for a weapon? A. Obi Wan Baloney!

Q. What do you call a donkey with a Ph.D?
A. A smart ass!

Q. What do you get if you cross a donkey and an onion?
A. A piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye!

Q. What do you call a donkey that keeps time?
A. An hourgl-ass.

Q. What do donkeys send out at Christmas time?
A. Mule-tide greetings.

Q. What's the best way to catch a fish?
A. Have someone throw it to you.

Q. What did the fish say when he posted bail?
A. I'm off the hook.

Q. Why don't fish like basketball?
A. Because of the nets

Q. What do romantic fish sing to each other?
A. Salmon Chanted Evening.

Q. What do you call a naked fish?
A. A barracuda.

Q. Which Star Wars character travels all around the world?
A. Globi-Wan Kenobi.

Q. Why didn't Yoda have body odor?
A. Because he always used de-yoda-rant.

Q. Why can't you count on Yoda to pick up the tab?
A. Because he's always a little short.

Q. What does Yoda say when somebody says something he obviously already knew?
A. No-Duh!

Q. How do you keep an elephant from charging? A. Take away his credit card.ET Chef Asks: What did the time traveler do when he was still hungry? A. He went back four seconds!Q. What do you get if you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? A. Hot Cross Bunnies

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. Gee, that's cute. But, can you breathe out of it?

Q. What's as big as an elephant, but weighs nothing?
A. It's shadow.

Q. What is an pachyderm's favorite classic Disney fim?
A. Ele-phantasia!

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?
A. Eleph-Rino? (Hell if I know!)

Q. Why didn't the blonde go on the All Almond Diet?
A. She thought it was just nuts.

Q. Why do successful dieters like TV dinners?
A. Because they watch what they eat.

Q. What is the difference between a hungry man and a glutton?
A. One longs to eat and the other eats too long!

Q. Why shouldn't you worry about gaining a few extra pounds?
A. Fat people are harder to kidnap.

Q. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower?
A. A hare dryer.

Q. Why don't rabbits get hot during the summer?
A. Because they have hare conditioning.

Q. What is the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd one?
A. One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny.

Q. What kind of music do urban rabbits prefer?
A. Hip Hop.

Q. What does a pirate say during a snow storm? A. Shiver me timbers!Q. Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A. Because They Cantaloupe!Q. What is a vampire's favorite soup? A. Scream of Tomato!

Q. Why do pirates detest seriously funny winter puns?
A. Because it's snow laughing matter!

Q. When is a boat just like winter snow?
A. When it's a drift.

Q. What's the difference between an iceberg and a lint brush?
A. One crushes boats, but the other brushes coats.

Q. Why didn't the Arctic tourist get any sleep last night?
A. Because he accidentally plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night.

Q. What do you call a serial killer watermelon?
A. A slaughter melon!

Q. How did the watermelon farmer feel after getting a blue ribbon at the county fair?
A. Like a melon bucks!

Q. Why did the melon go out with a fig?
A. He couldn't find a date.

Q. What crime was the watermelon thief convicted of?
A. Melony Theft

Q. Which kind of melon can change colors at will?
A. A Chamelon!

Q. Why don't vampires spend much at restaurants?
A. Because they eat necks to nothing.

Q. What do you call a hungry vampire at a wedding reception?
A. Vampire, The Buffet Slayer.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite kind of candy?
A. Suckers.

Q. What did the three vampires order at the bar?
A. Two Bloods and a Blood Light.

Q. What do you call a vampire addict?
A. Count Drugula.

| Funny Riddles, Dumb Answers | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |
| Am I Crazy? | Am I Funny? | Are You Kidding? | What Rhymes with Orange? | Are You Drunk? |
| Have You Seen Bigfoot? | Are You An Alien? | Why Do Vampires Bite? | Are You a Winer? |
| Why Are Hipsters Hip? | What Time Is It? | Where Am I? | Am I High? | Am I a Superhero? |
| Do I Need a Doctor? | Am I Dead? | Why Did the Cow Jump Over the Moon? | Is It Friday Yet? |

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You've lasted this far, so here's even more befuddling humor,
curious jokes, and puzzling painful puns to help clear up any questions:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Riddles | Colorado Jokes | Colorful Riddles | Fitness Questions | Farm Riddles | Gnome Answers |
| Questionable Music Puns | Pet Riddles | Pick-Up Lines | Painful Puns | Pirate Jokes | Scary Funny Riddles |
| Sci-Fi Wonders | Seasonal Riddles | Sports Jokes | Tech Support Riddles | Travel Jokes | Weather Riddles |

Edible Puns, Fun with Food Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Garden Puns, Green Groaners Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor

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