Q. How do you make a hamburger smile? A. Pickle it gently!   PainfulPuns.com - Silly Questions + Dumb Answers = Punny Riddles

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Q. How are the Enterprise and toilet paper alike? A. Both circle Uranus wiping out Klings!
Gorilla Asks: Why do cheap guys watch porno movies backward? A. they like the part where the hooker gives the money back!
Cow Chef Asks: What kind of music do chefs like to listen to? Wok N Roll!
Q. Why did the vampire become an actor? A. He wanted a part he could dig his teeth into!
Q. Why did the blonde take a nap on the toilet? A. Because it's in the rest room!

 


Funny Riddles, Enigmatic Anwerss, Mystery Jokes
Get wisecrack answers to ridiculous riddles, inquisitive jokes, and punny posed questions.

Silly Riddles, Dumb Questions, Punny Answers
(Because Hilarious Riddles with Punny Solutions Could Never Be TOO Mainstream if You're Puzzled!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Unsolved humor, mysterious riddles, and perplexing puns ahead.
| Funny Riddles Answered! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |

Q. What's the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer? One is a bird watcher, and the other's a word botcher.Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and the abominable snowman? A. A Jumbo Yeti!Q. What is a Honeymoon Salad? A. Lettuce alone, with no dressing

Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A. A bird that talks in morse code.

Q. Why couldn't anybody see the rare bird?
A. It was in da skies!

Q. Which kind of books do sleuth owls enjoy?
A. Hoot-dunits.

Q. What's a bird's favorite television show?
A. The feather forecast.

Q. Which shampoo do birds prefer?
A. Dove.

Q. What did a yeti say to his psychiatrist?
A. I feel abominable.

Q. Why do abominable snowmen like to tell jokes?
A. They want to sleigh you with laughter.

Q. What kind of man doesn't like to sit in front of a warm campfire?
A. The Abominable Snowman.

Q. Why did the Abominable Snow-Boy send his father to Siberia?
A. Because he liked frozen pops.

Q. Why are spinach leaves never lonely?
A. Because they come in bunches.

Q. What does an artichoke say when you eat salad?
A. Aw, have a heart!

Q. What do you call a hen with a piece of lettuce in her eye?
A. Chicken sees-a salad.

Q. What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the fridge door?
A. "Hey, close the door. I'm dressing!"

Q. How di Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? A. He forgot to wrap his Whopper!Q. Why don't ambassadors ever get sick? A. Diplomatic ImmunityQ. Why does a great hair stylist ask so many question before a haircut?

Q. How can you tell if hamburgers have a high I.Q.?
A. They loin fast.

Q. What happens when two hamburgers fall in love?
A. They live together in holy meatrimony!

Q. Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your fingers?
A. No, fingers should be eaten separately!

Q. How was the hamburger murdered?
A. First it was rolled, then it was smothered in onions.

Q. What is the medical term for owning too many dogs?
A. Roverdose!

Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A. Because men are all pigs.

Q. What happens when you try a new cough syrup?
A. You never quite know what to expectorate!

Q. How do you tell the difference between an oral themometer and a rectal thermometer?
A. By the taste.

Q. Why was the woman's hair so angry?
A. Because she was always teasing it!

Q. What do you call a blonde policeman?
A. A fair cop!

Q. What do you get if you cross a hair dresser and a cell phone?
A. Radio waves.

Q. How can you get permanent waves?
A. Stand a hair stylist in a bucket of cement.

Q. Why are brunettes so proud of their color?
A. It matches their mustaches.

Q. Why did the pig quit sun bathing? A. He was bacon in the heat!Q. Who is a pickle's favorite artist? A. Salvador Dilly!Q. What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? A. "Oh, Sheet!"

Q. What is a pig's favorite color?
A. Mahogany!

Q. Why did the hogs put a blanket on the ground?
A. They were having a pig-nic.

Q. Why shouldn't you share a bed with a pig?
A. Because they hog the covers!

Q. Why shouldn't you ever tell a pig a secret?
A. Because they always squeal!

Q. How does Savador Dali start his day?
A. With a bowl of surreal.

Q. How does a cucumber become a pickle?
A. It goes through a jarring experience.

Q. What is a cucumber's favorite letter?
A. They always pick L!

Q. What do you call people who post particularly funny pickle puns?
A. Dilly Silly!

Q. What did the blanket say to the bed?
A. Don't worry, I've got you covered.

Q. Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?
A. Because he wrote sheet music.

Q. Why do people go to bed?
A. Because the bed won't come to them!

Q. Who stole the sheets off the beds?
A. Bed Buglars!

Q. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? A. Aye Matey!Q. What is a three-season bed? A. One without a spring.Chimp Chef Asks: What is a stoner chef's specialty? A. Baked Ziti!

Q. Why was it so hard to call the pirate on his birthday?
A. Because he left his phone off the hook.

Q. What does a pirate on shore leave wish for on his birthday?
A. A little booty!

Q. What did her dad say after the blonde handed him his 50th birthday card?
A. Thanks so much, but one would have been enough.

Q. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
A. They relish the moment.

Q. Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?
A. Because he's obviously lying!

Q. When is your mind like an un-made bed?
A. When it isn't made up yet.

Q. When does a bed grow longer?
A. At night, when you add two feet to it.

Q. Why did the blonde take a ruler to be?
A. (Not what you're guessing!) She wanted to see how long she'd slept!

Q. How do you shorten a bed?
A. Don't sleep in it as long.

Q. Which kind of pizza do hungry potheads usually order?
A. Stone-Baked!

Q. What did the 420 edibles chef say?
A. Thyme flies when you're having fun!

Q. Are there many Colorado Cannivores in Denver?
A. Yes, medible ents and cannafoodies are quite common in the Mile High city.

Q. What is a spaced alien's idea of a balanced diet?
A. A joint in each hand.

| Funny Riddles, Dumb Answers | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |
| Am I Crazy? | Am I Funny? | Are You Kidding? | What Rhymes with Orange? | Are You Drunk? |
| Have You Seen Bigfoot? | Are You An Alien? | Why Do Vampires Bite? | Are You a Winer? |
| Why Are Hipsters Hip? | What Time Is It? | Where Am I? | Am I High? | Am I a Superhero? |
| Do I Need a Doctor? | Am I Dead? | Why Did the Cow Jump Over the Moon? | Is It Friday Yet? |


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You've lasted this far, so here's even more befuddling humor,
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| Questionable Music Puns | Pet Riddles | Pick-Up Lines | Painful Puns | Pirate Jokes | Scary Funny Riddles |
| Sci-Fi Wonders | Seasonal Riddles | Sports Jokes | Tech Support Riddles | Travel Jokes | Weather Riddles |

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