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Q. What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A. A Nectarine!
Q. Why did the banker take the blonde teller into the vault? A. For Safe Sex!
Q. What do you call a donkey on steroids? A. An ass-teroid!
Q. How do monkeys et down stairs? A. They slidw down the banana-ster!
Q. What do you call a guitarist that drank too much alchohol? A. Bassist loaded!


Funny Riddles, Crazy Questions, Logical Answers
Get punny answers to confusing questions, logic problem humor, and ridiculous riddles.

Puzzling Jokes, Riddle Me Answers, Poser Puns
(Because Logical Riddles and Mind-Melding Enigmas Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Mr. Spock!
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Logical riddles, enigma humor, baffling jokes, and perplexing puns ahead.
| Funny Riddles Answered! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |

Q. What do you call it when you get a glamorous new hairdo? A. Tressed to Kill!Q. Why should you always bring a bag of chips to a party? A. In queso emergencyQ. Why can't cows remember what they're told? A. It just goes in one ear and out the udder!

Q. What do you call a pricey barber shop?
A. A clip joint.

Q. Why did the bald guy put a rabbit on his head?
A. Because he wanted a head full of hare.

Q. What did the blonde hair stylish say when the man said he wanted a hair cut?
A. Which one?

Q. Why did the banana go to a hairdresser?
A. Because it had split ends!

Q. What do you call snacks that are crunchy and noisy to eat?
A. Audio victuals!

Q. How do you know you're getting close to a snack food factory?
A. Because of all the chips and dips in the road.

Q. What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A. A bag of snack chips in each hand.

Q. What do cannibals like to snack on?
A. Chocolate covered aunts.

Q. What do you get from a forgetful cow?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Q. How far can steak go in school?
A. It can go to cowledge where it can get up to 450 degrees.

Q. What goes ooooo?
A. A cow with no lips.

Q. How do you know that there are cows in heaven?
A. It's a place of udder delight.

Q. Why don't oysters donate to charity? A. Because they're shellfish.Q. What do Yeti call thwir offspring? A. Chill-dren!Q. What is the difference between a frog and a cat? A. A frog croaks all the time, a cat only nine times.

Q. How to shellfish get to the hospital?
A. In a clam-bulance!

Q. What do you get if you cross and ape with a shellfish?
A. A shrimpanzee!

Q. What do dirty fish read?
A. Prawn-o magazines.

Q. Which fish only swims at night?
A. A starfish.

Q. Who held the baby octopus for ransom?
A. Squid-nappers!

Q. Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're killer comedians.

Q. Why did the sasquatch like to hear these jokes?
A. Because Bigfoot doesn't want to myth out on the punch lines.

Q. Which kind of jokes do TV Bigfoot hunters with night vision cameras like best?
A. Knock Knock Jokes!

Q. How can you tell Sasquatch has a great sense of humor?
A. These Bigfoot jokes are really dumb, Yeti laughs anyway!

Q. What do you call a cat that just ate a duck?
A. A duck-filled platy puss.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A. A sour puss.

Q. What do you call a bad event involving cats?
A. A catastrophe!

Q. How do purrdy kitties describe themselves?
A. As Purr-fect!

Q. Why did the finicy vegan chef quit? A. they cut his celery!Q. What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes? A. A Water-FelonQ. What do bananas say when they answer the phone? A. Yellow!

Q. What does it take to be a great chef?
A. It boils down to beating the other chefs to the cutting edge recipes.

Q. Why did the chef spill his soup?
A. Because there was a leek in the pot!

Q. Why couldn't the chef get into the restaurant?
A. He had gnocchi.

Q. What do you call a chef who won't try dishes made by other cooks?
A. Full of himself.

Q. What do you get if you cross a melon and broccoli?
A. A melon-coli salad.

Q. Why did the watermelon stop in the middle of the road?
A. He ran out of juice.

Q. What did the watermelon order from his bartender?
A. A rum and cuke.

Q. Why do watermelons like painful puns?
A. Because they're so seedy.

Q. Why didn't the banana yell Hi?
A. Because it could only yellow.

Q. What is a cool banana's favorite song?
A. Mello Yellow!

Q. What is the hippest kind of fruit?
A. A bae-nae-nae.

Q. What does a banana holler from a mountain top?
A. "Yellow down there!"

Q. What is a banana's favorite pick-up line?
A. Yellow, You!

Q. What do you get from a pampered cow? A. Spoiled MilkQ. What kind of crackers do firement like in their soup? A. Firecreackers!Painful Animal Puns: Q. What is an elephant's favorite sport? A. Squash

Q. Where do cows go for lunch?
A. Calf-eteria.

Q. What do you call one cow half?
A. Calf.

Q. Why do cows lie down when it rains?
A. To keep each udder dry.

Q. How do you know that there are cows in heaven?
A. It's a place of udder delight.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and fireworks?
A. Dino-mite!

Q. What do you call a duck that enjoys watching fireworks?
A. A fire quacker!

Q. Why was the guy so good at fireworks displays?
A. He had a real flare for it.

Q. What did one firecracker say to another firecracker?
A. My pop is bigger than your pop!

Q. Which kind of elephant can fly?
A. A Jumbo Jet!

Q. Why don't African elephants like playing poker?
A. Because of all the cheetahs!

Q. Who lost her herd of elephants?
A. Big Bo Peep.

Q. What do you get if you cross a fish and an elephant?
A. Swimming trunks.

| Funny Riddles, Dumb Answers | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |
| Am I Crazy? | Am I Funny? | Are You Kidding? | What Rhymes with Orange? | Are You Drunk? |
| Have You Seen Bigfoot? | Are You An Alien? | Why Do Vampires Bite? | Are You a Winer? |
| Why Are Hipsters Hip? | What Time Is It? | Where Am I? | Am I High? | Am I a Superhero? |
| Do I Need a Doctor? | Am I Dead? | Why Did the Cow Jump Over the Moon? | Is It Friday Yet? |

PainfulPuns Home
You've lasted this far, so here's even more puzzling humor,
mysterious jokes, and perplexing painful puns to clear up any confusion:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Riddles | Colorado Jokes | Colorful Riddles | Fitness Questions | Farm Riddles | Gnome Answers |
| Questionable Music Puns | Pet Riddles | Pick-Up Lines | Painful Puns | Pirate Jokes | Scary Funny Riddles |
| Sci-Fi Wonders | Seasonal Riddles | Sports Jokes | Tech Support Riddles | Travel Jokes | Weather Riddles |

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