Q. Why don't oysters donate to charity? A. Because they're shellfish.   PainfulPuns.com - Silly Questions + Dumb Answers = Punny Riddles

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Q. Why was a guy looking for fast foo on his friend? A. His friend said "dinner is on me!"
Q. What happens if you play Beethoven backwards? A. He Decomposes!
Q. Why did this chicken cross the road? A. Because she's an independent female flightless bird!
Q. Why don't locksmiths need to use GPS? A. They always know their lock-ation!

 


Wacky Questions + Silly Answers = Riddles!
Seek definitive answers to life's little mysteries, daily enigmas, and riddles that do add up.

Punny Riddles, Puzzling Jokes, Perplexing Puns
(Because Funny Riddles and Puzzling Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream Unless You Already Know the Answer)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Dangerously funny riddles, problem jokes, and baffling puns ahead.
| Funny Riddles Answered! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |

Q. Why do horses fart when they buck? A. Because they can't acheive full horse power without gas!Q. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the ends of its paws, but a comma has a pause at the end of its clause.Q. What did the red light say to the green light? A. Don't look, I'm changing!

Q. When does a horse talk?
A. Whinny wants to!

Q. What did one horse say to another?
A. The face looks familiar, but I don't remember the mane.

Q. What kind of bakery does a horse like?
A. Thoroughbread.

Q. What do you give to a sick horse?
A. Cough Stirrup!

Q. How does a cat sing the scales?
A. Do, Re, MeOW!

Q. What is it called when a cat wins at a dog show?
A. A cat-has-trophy!

Q. Why did the leopard wear a striped shirt?
A. Do he wouldn't be spotted.

Q. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A. A Peeping Tom.

Q. Why was the blonde just standing in the middle of the busy intersection?
A. The Walk sign changed to Don't Walk, so she just stopped.

Q. Why did the green light turn amber in October?
A. Because it was fall.

Q. What song do traffic signals like to hear from car radios?
A. Stop in the Name of Love.

Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. An Udder FailureQ. What goes through towns, up and over hills, but doesn't move? A. The roadQ. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Milk Dud

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and Quackers.

Q. How easy is it to milk a cow?
A. It's a piece of steak?

Q. Why are cows vegetarians?
A. So that you don't have to be.

Q. What did the bored cow moo-an about in the morning?
A. It's just an udder day.

Q. What's the difference between a dead lawyer on the road and a dead skunk on the road?
A. Skid marks lead up to the skunk!

Q. Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
A. She wanted to stretch her legs!

Unanswered Riddle: How can you learn to drive a stick-shif if you can't find a manual?

Q. What do you call a magician cow?
A. Moo-dini.

Q. What do you call a bull who gives no milk?
A. Really pissed off.

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the udder side.

Q. What are the spots on black and white cows?
A. Hol-stains.

Q. What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark Side? A. Vader Tots!Q. What is the difference between one yard and two yards? A. A Fence!Q. What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach? A. A Pything!

Q. Why do potatoes argue so much?
A. They just can't see eye to eye!

Q. How do you describe an angry potato?
A. Boiling Mad!

Q. What kind of potato is always looking for a fight?
A. An agi-tater!

Q. What do you call a potato that's a lot like its father?
A. Chip!

Q. Why did the gardener need a cork?
A. His garden sprung a leek!

Q. Why was the blonde gardener wearing sunglasses?
A. Because she was growing sunflowers!

Q. How does a gardener know that his veggies are on his side?
A. They're always rooting for him!

Q. Why did the gardener quit?
A. His celery wasn’t high enough.

Q. What do you call a snake that's not wearing clothes?
A. Snaked!

Q. Which kind of snake only eats dessert?
A. The Pie-Thon!

Q. Which snake likes to keep his car clean?
A. The Windshield Viper!

Q. What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A. A Civil Serpent!

Q. What is it called when a sheep rustler escapes from jail? A. On the LamWhat happens when a pickle is bored? It becomes very dill!Q. What kind of tree do fingers grow on? A. A Palm Tree

Q. What do you call a sheep who likes to tell jokes?
A. A Ewe-morist.

Q. What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A. An animal in a really baaaaad mooood!

Q. What do sheep wear at work?
A. Ewe-niforms.

Q. Why was the lamb arrested on the freeway?
A. Because she did a ewe turn.

Q. What do you call a pickle that was run over on the highway?
A. Road Dill.

Q. Who do all the boy pickles like the most?
A. The pickle dish!

Q. Which musical instrument do cucumbers prefer to play?
A. The Pickle-O.

Q. What is the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
A. If you don't know, you really should stop talking to your pickle!

Q. What is a baker's favorite kind of tree?
A. Pastry.

Q. Which type of tree is commonly found in kitchens?
A. A Pantry.

Q. Did you hear the latest joke about the tree?
A. It'll leaf you laughing.

Q. Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
A. It's acorny one!

| Funny Riddles, Dumb Answers | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |
| Am I Crazy? | Am I Funny? | Are You Kidding? | What Rhymes with Orange? | Are You Drunk? |
| Have You Seen Bigfoot? | Are You An Alien? | Why Do Vampires Bite? | Are You a Winer? |
| Why Are Hipsters Hip? | What Time Is It? | Where Am I? | Am I High? | Am I a Superhero? |
| Do I Need a Doctor? | Am I Dead? | Why Did the Cow Jump Over the Moon? | Is It Friday Yet? |


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You've lasted this far, so here's even more perplexing humor,
puzzling jokes, and teaser painful puns to answer all your dumb questions:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Riddles | Colorado Jokes | Colorful Riddles | Fitness Questions | Farm Riddles | Gnome Answers |
| Questionable Music Puns | Pet Riddles | Pick-Up Lines | Painful Puns | Pirate Jokes | Scary Funny Riddles |
| Sci-Fi Wonders | Seasonal Riddles | Sports Jokes | Tech Support Riddles | Travel Jokes | Weather Riddles |

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