Q. How do you keep an elephant from charging? A. Take away his credit card.   PainfulPuns.com - Silly Questions + Dumb Answers = Punny Riddles

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

q. What type of photos do brains post at Facebook? A. Cell-fies!
Q. What did the guitarist do when he needed to turn his amp on? A. He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it!
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A. A vampire only sucks blood at night!
Gorilla Chef Asks: Where can you expect to find a stirring message? A. In a recipe!
Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and the abominable snowman? A. A Jumbo Yeti!

 


Funny Riddles, Enigma Jokes, Questionable Puns
Get funny answers to puzzling riddles, mystery questions, and word play paradoxes.

Ridiculous Riddles and Funny Brainteaser Jokes
(Because Corny Riddles and Ingenious Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream While You're in Line at the DMV!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Dumb jokes, wacky funny riddles, and puns that smart ahead.
| Funny Riddles Answered! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |

Q. What is the favorite flower of USA auto owners? A. The Car-Nation!Q. Why don't melons get married? A. Because They Cantaloupe!Q. What did a hamburger say to another hamburger in the bathroom? A. I musturd!

Q. Which kind of cars do cooks drive?
A. Chef-rolets!

Q. Where do automobiles go for a dip?
A. A carpool.

Q. What is an autobiography?
A. A book by a car about it's life.

Q. Why shouldn't you walk behind a car?
A. Because you'll become exhausted.

Unanswered Riddle: If you break the speed limit, can you fix it?

Q. What do you call a serial killer watermelon?
A. A slaughter melon!

Q. Why did the guy break up with his watermelon vendor girlfriend?
A. Because she was always so melon-dramatic about everything!

Q. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A. Neck-tarines.

Q. What did a fruit pirate wear over one eye?
A. A strawberry patch!

Q. Why was the hamburger thrown out of the army?
A. Because he couldn't pass the mustard.

Q. What do you give a dog with a fever?
A. Mustard is the best thing for a hot dog.

Q. What did the hot dog say to the mustard?
A. Stop touching my buns!

Q. What are the rules when mustard races ketchup?
A. Weiner take all!

Q. What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a general? A. A Military Coo!Q. What do you call hipster slang in Berlin? A. German-ology!Stinking Funny Pun: Q. What did the judge say when skunks walked into court? A. Good morning, lawyers.

Q. What do you get if you cross a carrier pigeon and a woodpecker?
A. A bird that not only delivers messages, it knocks on the door, too.

Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot and a carrier pigeon?
A. Voice mail.

Q. Why did the guy like online auction sites?
A. He sold his homing pigeon four times last month.

Unanswered Riddle: If your homing pigeon dies, will it come back to haunt you?

Q. Why does a hipster only listen to dead musicians?
A. Because he knows they'll always be underground.

Q. Why didn't the hipster go to work?
A. He caught an uncommon cold.

Q. Why did the hipster drown?
A. He went ice skating before it was cool.

Unanswered Riddle: If a hipster does something but doesn't Instagram it, did it really happen?

Unanswered Riddle: Do hipsters wear jackets in the summer before it's cool.

Q. How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but two lawyers have to explain why.

Q. How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. He holds it still and the whole courtroom revolves around him.

Q. How are judges and English teachers alike?
A. They both hand out long sentences.

Q. What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great one?
A. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Q. What do you call a baby donkey? A. A Burrito!Q. Why couldn't the chicken find her egg? A. Because she mislaid it.Q. What do you call a dog who makes a bolt for the door? A. Locksmith!

Q. What happens when you buy a mini donkey?
A. You get a little ass.

Q. What do you get if you cross a donkey and a motorcycle?
A. A Yam-Hee-Haw.

Q. What do you call a drunken donkey?
A. Wine Gl-ass.

Q. What do you get if a donkey eats a porcupine?
A. A pain in the ass.

Q. Did you hear about the chicken who only laid eggs during winter?
A. She was no spring chicken.

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg!

Q. What happens when you drop a hand-gren-egg?
A. It egg-splodes!

Q. How does a chicken mail a letter?
A. Inside an hen-velope.

Q. Why didn't the blonde need keys to get into her house?
A. Because she forgot to lock the door.

Q. Which kind of key doesn't open a lock?
A. A donkey, dumb ass!

Q. Why didn't the blonde have the key to success?
A. Somebody changed the lock.

Q. Why does Mikey tell knock knock jokes?
A. Because his key doesn't fit the door!

Q. What did a grape say when an elephant stepped on it? A. Nothing. It just let out a little whine.Q. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? A It was two-tired!Q. What is the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, a cat only nine times.

Q. What's a great name for a sommelier?
A. Merl O. Daily!

Q. Can you drink alcohol for breakfast?
A. Wine not.

Q. What is the secret to enjoying a good bottle of wine?
A. Open the bottle to let it breathe. If it doesn't look like it's breathing, give it mouth to mouth!

Q. What's the difference between a a glass of wine and a man?
A. A glass of wine hits the spot every time.

Q. What do you call an insanely crazy bike trail?
A. A cycle-path!

Q. What does a bike call its dad?
A. Pop-cicle.

Q. What's the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?
A. The pavement.

Q. What do you get if you cross a bike and a flower?
A. Bicycle petals.

Q. What do you say to a hitchhiking frog?
A. Hop In.

Q. What do you get if you cross a frog and a baseball player?
A. An outfielder who catches flies, and then eats them!

Q. What happens when two nervous frogs collide?
A. They get tongue-tied.

Q. What do you call a frog with no hind legs?
A. Very Unhoppy!

| Funny Riddles, Dumb Answers | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Are Blonde Jokes Dumb? | Why Do Pirates ARR? |
| Am I Crazy? | Am I Funny? | Are You Kidding? | What Rhymes with Orange? | Are You Drunk? |
| Have You Seen Bigfoot? | Are You An Alien? | Why Do Vampires Bite? | Are You a Winer? |
| Why Are Hipsters Hip? | What Time Is It? | Where Am I? | Am I High? | Am I a Superhero? |
| Do I Need a Doctor? | Am I Dead? | Why Did the Cow Jump Over the Moon? | Is It Friday Yet? |


PainfulPuns Home
You've lasted this far, so here's even more confounding humor,
confusing jokes, and enigmatic painful puns to answer any head-scratcher:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Riddles | Colorado Jokes | Colorful Riddles | Fitness Questions | Farm Riddles | Gnome Answers |
| Questionable Music Puns | Pet Riddles | Pick-Up Lines | Painful Puns | Pirate Jokes | Scary Funny Riddles |
| Sci-Fi Wonders | Seasonal Riddles | Sports Jokes | Tech Support Riddles | Travel Jokes | Weather Riddles |

Edible Puns, Fun with Food Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Garden Puns, Green Groaners Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.