Q. Why did a blonde go to the dentist? A. Because somebody dented her car!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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I have no idea how to raise chickens? So I guess I'll just have to wing it!
Q. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? A. Because then it would be a foot!
Did you hear about the constipated Wheel of Fortune player? He wanted to buy a bowel!
Q. How many necrophiliacs does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Necrophiliacs prefer dead bulbs!


Groaner Puns, Ouch Jokes, Painful Punch Lines
Moan along with gruesome groaner jokes, hideous one-liner humor, and funny painful puns.

Ouch! Painful Groaner Jokes, Double OUCH!!
(Because Painful One-Liners, Groaner Jokes, and Perilous Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Masochists!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Groaner jokes, gruesome humor, grueling laughs and painful puns that hurt ahead.
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | 2 | Bad Hair Puns & Barber Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Colorful Groaner Jokes |
| Painful Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Shoe Groans | Furniture Jokes | Psychic Puns | Weather Puns |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groan Puns | Light Bulb Groaner Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Creepy Clown Jokes |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Gambling Jokes |

Q. Why does a Mars rock taste better than an Earth rock? A. It's a little meteor!Chimp tells a bar joke: A dyslexic guy walks into a bra!Big Ape Asks: What is the problem wiith banker jokes? A. Bankers don't think they're funny, and normal people don't think they're jokes!

Q. What did the astronaut see in his skillet?
A. An unidentified frying object!

Q. What's heavier? A galaxy, mars, earth, or the sun?
A. The Earth. Galaxy and Mars are candy bars, and the Sun is a newspaper!

Q. What do aliens serve their food on?
A. Flying saucers.

A guy walks into a bar. He says, "OUCH!" ... It was a crowbar.

A TV sitcom walks into a bar. Bartender say, "Cheers!"

A DON'T WALK sign walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, you can't do that!"

Ham and Eggs walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve breakfast here."

Q. Why did the banker take the blonde teller into the bank vault?
A. For safe sex.

Q. How did the old banker die?
A. He cashed out.

Old bankers never die, they just pass the buck.

A bank manager without anyone around, may find himself a loan!

Did you hear about the guy who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? Doctors say his condition is stable!Q. Why do poicemen have bigger balls than firemen? A. they sell more tickets!An optometrist asked a guy if his eyes had ever been checked. The guy replied, "No, they've always been brown!"

Did you hear about the circumcision doctor? He slipped and got the sack.

Nurse: Doc, we have lost our patient.
Doctor: Oh no, what happened?
Nurse: He recovered.

When a lawyer was coming out of anesthesia after surgery, he asked, "Why are all the drapes drawn?" The doctor replied, "There's a fire across the street, so we didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

Cop: Why did you dump these vegetables on my desk?
Alleged Criminal: Because you said it was time to spill the beans.

Q. What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot?
A. A cellfie.

Q. What did the cop say to his belly button?
A. You are under a vest!

Q. What does an egotist say when he visits the optometrist?
A. I Aye Eye!

Q. What did Sherlock Holmes say to his eye doctor?
A. Eye guess you've closed the lid on this one.

Q. What did the deck hand on the optometrist's yacht say?
A. Eye, Eye, Captain.

Q. What happens when you play the blues backwards? A. Your wife comes back, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison!Q. What do you call a vegetable with PMS? A. A Cab Bitch!Why did the guy at the 7•Up factory get fired? He tested positive for coke!

Two musicians were walking down the street. One turns to the other and asks, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" The other replied, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife!"

Did you hear the joke about the blues? Can't remember how it goes, but the punchline is: The blues guitarist got hit by a bus.

Q. How did Frank Sinatra die?
A. Stranglers in the Night.

Q. What does a cabbage outlaw have?
A. A price on its head.

Q. What did the students learn when the teacher lectured about green leafy vegetables?
A. A chard lesson.

Q. What do you call a cabbage with a good attitude?
A. Head and shoulders above the rest.

Q. Why did the clever blonde model snort Sweet'n Low?
A. She thought it was Diet Coke.

Q. Why did the blonde lick the bottom of the soda can?
A. Because it said, "Tastes best by sell by date." Duh!

Q. What is a cheerleader's favorite beverage?
A. Root Beer.

Eye Doctor: "Can you read the bottom line?" Polish Guy: "Read it? Heck, I know that guy!"Q. How do ye make a pirate furious? A. Take away his P!Q. What did the guitarist do when he needed to turn his amp on? A. He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it!

Q. Why do eye doctors like PainfulPuns.com Eye Doctor Jokes?
A. It's a fun web sight for insiteful humor!

Q. What does an eye doctor say when his puppy acts up?
A. Eye Chihuahua!

A man goes to an eye doctor and says, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." Receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" The man replies, "No, just spots."

You retina try to one-up these eye doctor jokes lens you lose focus of iris humor.

Q. What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
A. I, I, R and the 7 Cs.

Q. What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
A. If you guessed R, you R wrong! The C is loved most by pirates.

Q. What is a pirate's favorite music genre?
A. ARR 'N B.

Q. What are the only notes a pirate can sing?
A. The high Cs.

To err is human. To arr is pirate.

Q. What do you call a guitar that never finishes a job?
A. A Quitar.

Q. What do you call two guitar players playing in unison?
A. Counterpoint.

Q. Why do lead guitarists walk around on the stage?
A. To get away from the sound.

Q. Which classic rock group has four guys that don't sing?
A. Mount Rushmore.

| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | 2 | Bad Hair Puns & Barber Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Pick-Up Lines |
| Painful Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Shoe Groans | Furniture Jokes | Psychic Puns | Weather Puns |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groan Puns | Light Bulb Groaner Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Pirate Hookup Lines |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Cents-Less Jokes |
| Gambling Jokes, Poker Puns | Circus Jokes, Creepy Clowns | Colorful Jokes, Off-Color Puns |

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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Turdy Puns | Weed Jokes | Zombie Jokes |

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