Sports bar joke: A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Q. What do you call a pig that's wrong? A. Mistaken Bacon!
Q. What is a vampire's favorite type of person to bite? A. A Redneck!
Q. How many computer scientists does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. That's a hardware issue!
Q. What did the drywall guy say to the wall? A. One more crack like that, and I'll plaster ya!

 


Painfully Punny Funs, Groaner Jokes, Ouch LOLs
Groan along with hideous humor, awfully painful jokes, nightmarish laughs and funny OUCH!

Groaner Jokes, Atrocious Puns, Awful Humor
(Because Awful Puns, Painful Punch Lines, and Real Groaner Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream)
Warning: Proceed with Due Caution! Punch line groans, groans of laughter, painful puns and OUCH ahead.
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | 2 | Bad Hair Puns & Barber Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Pick-Up Lines |
| Painful Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Shoe Groans | Furniture Jokes | Psychic Puns | Weather Puns |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groan Puns | Light Bulb Groaner Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Pirate Hookup Lines |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Cents-Less Jokes |

Ape Chef Asks: Did you hear about the dominatrix chef? She beats the eggs and whips the cream!Q. What do you call cattle that tell jokes? A. Laughing stock!Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden? A month later, he was picking his teeth!

Q. What is it called when a chef maliciously spills hot broth with dumplings on an obnoxious customer?
A. A Wonton Soup Attack!

Q. What is a chef's favorite dystopian movie?
A. The Hunger Games.

Q. What do you call a short-order cook in a busy restaurant?
A. A Pressure Cooker!

Q. Which kind of humor leaves a beef steak cold?
A. Biting wit and gnawing puns!

Q. What is a steak pun?
A. A medium where anything well done is rare!

Q. Why are steaks so happy at barbeques?
A. They get to meet all their old flames.

Q. Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in the dentist's window?
A. It's against the law to pick your teeth in public.

Nobody knew she had a dental implant, until it came out in conversation.

An orthodontist was found dead, killed by a hatchet. But, nobody was arrested because the death was ruled axe-i-dental.

Q. When can a hamburger marry a hot dog? A. Only when they have a very frank relationship!Chimp asks: Why are Denver Broncos jokes getting dumber and dumber? A. How can it be a joke, if nobody is laughing?Q. What is a light-year? A. the same as a regular year, but with less calories!

Funny Fast Food Tip of the Day: Never make eye contact with anybody while you're eating a hot dog.

"This hot dog is fantastic," Pat said frankly. (That's what she said!)

Customer: "Give me a hot dog."
Waiter: "With pleasure."
Customer: "No, with mustard!"

Q. How do you make a frankfurter laugh?
A. Tell it a Polish sausage joke.

Q. What's the toughest part about riding out the season for a Broncos fan?
A. Hitting the ground.

Q. What do Broncos fans say when the team fumbles?
A. Stop horsing around!

Q. How do Broncos fans explain it after the team fell to the visitors?
A. They've fallen and they can't giddy-up!

Q. Why are Denver Broncos jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A. Because now the players are making them up themselves!

Have you heard about the alien spaceship? Oh, never mind, it's over your head.

I'd tell you a joke about outer space, but it's a little too out of this world...

Q. How do spacemen pass the time while traveling long distances across the solar system?
A. You guessed it: They Plan-et!

Q. Where do planets and stars go to study?
A. The University!

Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes thiings personally!Q. Where is the eye located? A. Between the H and the J!Q. Why did the traffic light turn red? A. You would too, if you had to change in the middle of the road!

Q. Why do burglars make great tennis players?
A. Because they spend a lot of time in court.

Q. What happened to the burglar who stole a calender?
A. He got 365 days.

Q. What do you get if you cross a burglar and bunch of flowers?
A. Robbery with violets.

Q. What is a cucumber's favorite letter?
A. They always pick L!

Q. What kind of pet parrots do eye doctors prefer?
A. M-eye-na Birds.

Q. Which movie Jim Carrey movie was filmed in Denver?
A. Me, Myself, and I25.

Q. Why did the blonde nurse carry a pen with red ink?
A. Just in case she needs to draw blood.

Q. Why did the tomato turn red?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing.

Q. What is red and bad for your teeth?
A. A brick.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

Q. What did the skeptical pickle say? A. You're gherkin my chain!Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? A. Because the P is silent!Q. Where do monsters get their cookies? A. From the Ghoul Scouts!

Q. Where are you if you get your hand stuck in a jar of gherkins?
A. Right in a pickle.

Q. What did the pickle say when it was told it was going into tuna salad?
A. "I relish the thought."

Q. What is the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
A. If you don't know, you really should stop talking to your pickle!

My psychiatrist sent me for an MRI because she thinks I have a magnetic personality.

Neurotics build castles in the sky.
Psychotics live in them.
Psychiatrists collect the rent!

An elevator walks into a shrink's office and says, "Doc, I think I'm out of control." Shrink replies, "In your line of work, you're bound to have your ups and downs."

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because its mommy was a wafer so long!

Q. Why do basketball players like cookies so much?
A. Because they can dunk them!

Q. Why do we eat ice cream, cake, cookies and sweets when we're stressed?
A. Because Stressed spelled backward is Desserts!

| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | 2 | Bad Hair Puns & Barber Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Pick-Up Lines |
| Painful Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Shoe Groans | Furniture Jokes | Psychic Puns | Weather Puns |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groan Puns | Light Bulb Groaner Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Pirate Hookup Lines |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Cents-Less Jokes |


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| Gnome Kidding! | Hot Dog Jokes | Music Jokes | Pitiful Pick-Up Lines | Q. Funny Answers | Humor That Sucks |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Turdy Puns | Weed Jokes | Zombie Jokes |

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