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Reaching higher in business is a good thing unless you're a bank teller during a hold up!
A belch is just a gust of wind that comes from the heart, but when it takes the downward trend, it turns into a fart!
Q. How many Broncos fans does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. They just talk about doing it next year!
Did you hear about the guy who stole a can of wood filler? A. He was arrested for putty theft!

 


Groaner Jokes and Horrendous Humor – Ouch!
Hurt your funny bone with painful puns, ouch punch lines, and zinger one-liner humor.

Bad Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Ouch Riddles
(Yikes! Because Lame Jokes, Zowie Punch Lines, and Painful Puns Ouch Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Zinger jokes, head-slapping humor, painful puns and groans ahead.
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | 2 | Bad Hair Puns & Barber Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Pick-Up Lines |
| Painful Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Shoe Groans | Furniture Jokes | Psychic Puns | Weather Puns |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groan Puns | Light Bulb Groaner Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Pirate Hookup Lines |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Cents-Less Jokes |

Groaner: I Would Tell You a Leech Joke, But It Would Suck!Groaner Joke: I Used To Be A Tap Dancer, Until I Fell Into the Sink!A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blown Apart.

Bloody funny groaner joke. Ouch!

Q. What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?
A. The leech stops bleeding you after you're dead.

Q. Why did the leech go to a shrink?
A. Because everybody he got attached to broke it off with him.

Q. What's the difference between a leech and the USA health care system?
A. The leech stops sucking you dry after you're dead.

Q. How many dance teachers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five, six, seven, eight!

Q. What did the ballerina say when she lost her shoe?
A. Sigh, this is pointeless!

Q. Why was the big dog such a horrible dancer?
A. Because he had two left feet!

Q. How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Put a little boogie in it!

Se la Ka-bleu-y? Ca-serole sera, sera.

Ooh la laugh! Alas, we cannoli do so much...

Q. Why was the French chef's job in jeopardy?
A. His latest creation was a recipe for disaster.

Q. Why do French chefs use butter?
A. Because there is no margarine for error.

The cannibal daintily wiped his mouth and said, "My wife makes great soup. I'm really going to miss her."

A baby seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What can I get you?" Seal replies: "Anything but a Canadian club."Scary Pick-Up Line: Are you an alien? 'Cause this feeling in my gut makes me want to take you out!Q. What is the world's most popular wine? A. I don't like Brussels sprouts!

A grasshopper hops into a bar. Bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A monk, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey! Is this some kind of joke?"

Sports Bar Groan of the Day: A baseball rolls on up to the bar, and the bartender throws him out...

Q. Why did the zombie go crazy?
A. He lost his mind!

Q. What killer round did the zombie order at the bar?
A. A shot of ta-kill-ya, a Bloody Mary, and a Mind Eraser!

Q. Who won the zombie apocalypse?
A. Nobody. It was a dead tie.

Zombie Pick-Up Line: Now you know what will happen in your garden during the zombie apocalypse.

Party Groan of the Day: I do not like whiny and cheesy people, but I DO like wine and cheese people! Ouch!

Q. What do you call a basement full of upset women?
A. A whine cellar!

Q. What time do ladies drink wine?
A. At Wine O'Clock.

Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have become wine.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist office wearing only plastic wrap shorts. Shrink says: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."A Monkey Was Arrested for Throwing Rhesus Feces at the Patrons. He Was Charged with Turd Debris Assault.

That shrink could see right through his egocentric behavior.

Q. What is the difference between a psychologist and a magician?
A. A psychologist pulls habits out of a rat!

Q. Why is psychotherapy a lot faster for a man than for a woman?
A. Because when it's time for a man to go back to childhood, he's already there!

Q. What is something most people lie about?
A. A bed.

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender asks, "Why the short face?"

Groan of the Day: It's I before E unless it's Budweiser, caffeine, or codeine. Coincidence, or not?

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

Q. Why didn't the bartender serve the snake?
A. Because he couldn't hold his beer.

Q. Why did the chimp at the zoo throw rhesus feces at zoo visitors?
A. Because he wanted E.T. to go home.

Q. What do you get when you poop in your overalls?
A. Dung-arees.

Q. What do you call an angry monkey?
A. Furious George.

Q. What do you call somebody who might get you into hot water?
A. A cannibal.

According to my magic watch, you're not wearing any underwear! Oh, it must be 15 minutes fast...After Punching His Computer and Breaking His Hand, the Guy Required Tech Knuckle Support.I Gnome The Punch Line!

Q. Did you hear about the perverted magician?
A. He pulled his top hat out of a rabbit.

Q. Did you hear about the frustrated magician whose tricks failed big time?
A. He pulled his hare out!

Q. Who doesn't go to the emergency room after losing a finger?
A. A magician!

Q. Who had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud?
A. Moses.

Tech Support Point to Ponder: If we tell people their brain is an app, would they start using it?

There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Well, at least we gnow we know what he's been drinking!

Q. How can you tell a gnome's been using your lawn mower?
A. The welcome mat is ripped to shreds.

Q. How do we know gnomes are time travelers?
A. 'Cause there's gnome time like the present, past, and future.

| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | 2 | Bad Hair Puns & Barber Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Pick-Up Lines |
| Painful Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Shoe Groans | Furniture Jokes | Psychic Puns | Weather Puns |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groan Puns | Light Bulb Groaner Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Pirate Hookup Lines |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Cents-Less Jokes |


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You've survived the agony this far, so here's even more zowie humor,
groans of laughter, and painful puns that'll tease the yikes of you:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bigfoot Jokes | Bronco Jokes | Burger Puns | Chef Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Fitness Humor | Galactic Groans |
| Gnome Kidding! | Hot Dog Jokes | Music Jokes | Pitiful Pick-Up Lines | Q. Funny Answers | Humor That Sucks |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Turdy Puns | Weed Jokes | Zombie Jokes |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Monstrously Funny Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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