Q. Why do toilets run? A. They never learned how to job!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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I would tell you a Microphthalmos joke, but they are a little cornea!
Q. Why does Princess Leia keep her hair in buns? A. So that it doesn't hang So-Low!
Q. What do you call hipster slang in Berlin? A. German-ology!
Q. How many boyeurs does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one, but they'd rather watch somebody else do it!

 


Painful Jokes, Groaner Puns, Funny Ouch!
Hurt yourself butt good with funny groaner puns, harrowing humor, and treacherous jokes.

Groaner Jokes That Surly Do Hurt – Ouch!
(Because Painful Punch Lines and Groaner Jokes That Hurt Could Never Be TOO Mainstream at the Dentist Office!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Groaner jokes, painful punch lines, zinger humor and treacherous puns ahead.
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | Bad Hair Puns | Bald Jokes | Hipster Jokes | Psychic Puns | Colorful Groans |
| Fashion Jokes | Shoe Groans | Furniture Jokes | Grocery Store Groaners | Weather Jokes |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groans | Light Bulb Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Creepy Clown Jokes | Mime Puns |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Gambling Jokes |

Gorilla Asks: Why do cheap guys watch porno movies backward? A. they like the part where the hooker gives the money back!Q. What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? A. Denis!Q. What kind of car does a Jedi drive? A. A To Yoda!

Did you hear about the cheap guy? He says he's boycotting any store he can't afford.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't be expecting it back.

Cheap Guy Words of Wisdom: Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous! Because, it could damage his memory.

Q. Why do dentists like potatoes?
A. Because they're so filling.

The dentist's alibi was full of holes, so police performed a cavity search. OUCH!

Me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, and a dentist jokewithoutspaces!

Q. What did Yoda say when he gave Luke his first car?
A. May the Porsche be with you!

Q. Which kind of self-driving car takes you to a Jedi?
A. A To-Yoda!

Q. Why did the Jedi cross the road?
A. To get to the Darth Side.

Q. Why was teh rancher arrested at the gym? A. He was hurting his calves!Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A. Because it felt crummy!Q. What would happen if pigs cuold fly? A. The price of bacon would skyrocket!

Q. What do weightlifting cows have for dessert?
A. Beefcake!

Q. What do you call a really strong cow?
A. Beefy.

Q. What do you get if you put a cow on a trampoline?
A. A milk shake.

Q. What happens when a cow is udderly exhausted?
A. She just cow-lapses!

Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been baking cookies?
A. M&M shells are all over the counter.

Q. Which kind of cookie can make you rich?
A. A fortune cookie.

Q. Why did the Oreo cookie go to the dentist?
A. It lost its filling.

Cookie Crumb to Ponder: Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?

Q. What do you call fake pig news?
A. A lot of hogwash!

Q. What happens if you cross a pig and a politican?
A. Nothing. There are some things even a pig won't mess with.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A. A slow pork!

Q. What kind of motor vehicle do pigs drive?
A. Pig-up trucks!

Q. What does a barefoot man get if he steps on an electric wire? A. A pair of shocks!Q. What do you call a cabbage with a good body? A. Head and shoulders above the rest!Raw data is meaningless, so always cook the results!

Electrical words of wisdom: Never trust an electrician with no eyebrows.

Q. Which is the smallest city?
A. Electri-City.

Q. What does a master electrician say to encourage his apprentice?
A. You conduit!

Fully charged Pick-Up Line: Get turned on. Sleep with an electrician!

Q. What do electrician's chant when they meditate?
A. Ohm...

Q. What do you call a person who finds jobs for cabbage?
A. A Head Hunter.

Q. Why did the cabbage win the race?
A. Because it was a head!

Q. How did the farmer mend his torn green jeans?
A. With a cabbage patch.

Q. Which type of vegetable gets PMS?
A. The Cab-bitch!

Q. What happens if you pull on Mr. Data's index finger?
A. He expels hydraulic pressure through a usually unnoticed orifice of his anatomy.

Mr. Data Point to Ponder: Why don't Android users use emojis?

Q. What did Data say during the Borg attack?
A. Resistance is NOT futile. It is voltage divided by current!

Q. How did Mr. Data describe the Borg?
A. Cool, calm, and collective.

Q. What's a great name for a police-woman? A. Laura Biden!Reaching higher in business is a good thing unless you're a bank teller during a hold up!Did you hear about the music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note!

Q. What do you call a female police officer who plays guitar?
A. She Riff.

Q. What do you get if you cross a burglar and purple flowers?
A. Robbery with violets.

Q. What did the burglar say to the woman who caught him stealing her silver?
A. I am at your service, ma'am.

Q. Which kind of stars end up in jail?
A. Shooting stars.

Q. Why did the banker count his money with his toes?
A. Because he didn't want the money to slip through his fingers.

Q. What do you call a bank employee who gossips?
A. A story teller.

Q. Why should you think twice about opening an account at the Bank of the North Pole?
A. Accounts are often frozen there.

Banking Point to Ponder: Are some bankers generous to a vault?

Did you hear about the guitar player who was stressed? He was all strung out.

Q. Which cult rock song is an ode to Vincent Price and Dracula's obsessions?
A. Night of the Vampire by Roky Erickson.

Q. What's the difference between a cello and a coffin?
A. The coffin has the corpse inside.

Q. How did Frank Sinatra die?
A. Stranglers in the Night.

| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | Bad Hair Puns | Bald Jokes | Hipster Jokes | Psychic Puns | Colorful Groans |
| Fashion Jokes | Shoe Groans | Underwear Jokes | Divorce Jokes | Traffic Jokes | Manly Jokes |
| Insult Jokes | Compliment Jokes | Morning Puns | Noon Jokes | Night Humor | Bed Jokes |
| Furniture Jokes | Shopping Jokes | Grocery Store Groaners | Germy Jokes | Weather Humor |
| Home Sweet Home Humor | Stinking Funny Jokes | Clean Groaners | Hot Puns | Cold Jokes |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groans | Light Bulb Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Creepy Clown Jokes | Mime Puns |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Gambling Jokes |


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