Q. How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? A. SEX!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Taters Ask: What do you call spud one that smokes weed? A. A Baked Potato!
Gorilla Says: Life starts out with everyone cheering when you poop, and drastically goes down hill from there!
Q. What do you call a temporary lack of inspiration? A. Apnea!
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Agonizing Humor, Groaner Jokes & Painful Puns
Hurt yourself silly with groaner puns, stinging humor, and jokes that zing your funny bone.

Ouch! Painful Groaner Jokes That Hurt So Good!
(Because Lame Jokes, Groaner Puns, and Tormenting Punch Lines Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Peril! Agonizing groans, bad puns, and painful laughter 100% guaranteed ahead.
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | 2 | Bad Hair Puns & Barber Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Colorful Groaner Jokes |
| Painful Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Shoe Groans | Furniture Jokes | Psychic Puns | Weather Puns |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groan Puns | Light Bulb Groaner Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Creepy Clown Jokes |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Gambling Jokes |

What do you call an overweight alien? An extra cholesterol!Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes!Pirate walks into a bar. Bartender: "Did you know there's a steering wheel in your pants?" Pirate: "Arrr and it's driving ne crazy!"

The fad dieter ate everything with prickly pears, but now he's only eating foods with sorghums.

If you change the color of your food, are you on a dye-it?

A new study on obesity is looking for a larger test group to add to their growing body of research.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
A. Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Q. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A. Between you and me, there is something that smells.

To all you master eye jokesters: I'm just a pupil of the trade...

A bathroom scale walks into a bar. Bartender says, "I'll be with you in a minute. Scale replies, "I can weight."

A tongue walks into a bar and yells out, "I can lick anyone here!"

I told my wife that a man is like fine wine; husbands get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.

Q. What do you call a cow without any front legs? A. Lean beef!Q. What is Batman's favorite part of this joke? A. The punch line!Q. What do you call an obese psychic? A. A four chin teller!

Q. What do you call a cow with only two left feet?
A. A side of beef.

Q. What do you call a cow with one leg?
A. Steak.

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.

Q. Why does a milking stool only have three legs?
A. Because the cow has the udder.

Q. Why does Bruce Wayne like all these painful puns?
A. Because they're so batty!

Q. How does Batman take his coffee?
A. Black as the Knight.

Q. What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
A. The Dark Knight rises.

Q. Which kind of jokes does Batman like the most?
A. Dark humor.

Q. Why can't psychics have children?
A. Because their husbands have crystal balls.

Can far-sighted psychics see further into the future? Do seers with cataracts see a mirky future?

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we me.

Q. What do two psychics say when they first meet?
A. You are fine, how am I?

Did you hear about the hamburger that couldn't stop making jokes? It was on a roll!Wookie Asks: What makes music on your hair? A. A head band!Gym Joke: My struggle with steroids has only made me stronger!

Q. In which school subjects might the teacher say, Well Done, Hamburgers?
A. Meatyeval History and Meat-thematics.

Q. How can you tell that a hamburger enjoys classical music?
A. It frequents the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!

Q. How does a hamburger acquire good tastes?
A. With a little seasoning.

A topless bar tried to have a Polka night, but all the accordianists kept getting hurt.

Q. How do you put a sparkle in a flutist's eye?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ear.

The musician's girlfriend had tears in her eyes when he asked her to marry him. It might be because he proposed with an onion ring...

Man at the Gym: I want to impress a girl. Which machine should I use?
Trainer: Try the ATM outside.

Gym Pick-Up Line: I got stopped by cops on my way to the gym. They said it was illegal to carry these guns in public.

Q. What is the best type of protein a bodybuilder can eat?
A. Another bodybuilder.

Q. What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base? A. A Flat Major!Q. How do you fix a broken tomato? A. With tomato paste!Q. What do you give a cranky alien? A. Some Space!

Q. Why was the piano laughing?
A. Because someone was tickling its ivories!

Q. Why did the two pianists have such a great marriage?
A. Because they were always in a chord.

To climb to the top of a tall piano, you must scale it!

Q. What is messy and sits on a piano bench?
A. Beethoven's First Movement.

Q. How do you get rid of lazy tomato employees?
A. Can them!

Q. How can you tell if your tomatoes drink alcohol when you're not looking?
A. They're tomato sauced!

Q. How can you tell if you've got drunk tomatoes?
A. The can says stewed tomatoes.

Q. Who wrote the new cookbook, Please Pass the Ketchup?
A. May O. Neighz.

Q. How did the little green man from outer space feel wheb he visited Earth?
A. Alone and alienated.

Q. Why did a hermit move to the moon?
A. He needed more space.

Totally Spaced Out Pick Up Line: Is your dad an alien? 'Cause you're out of this world!

Q. What do aliens call weird technical bugs that occur on the moon?
A. Luna Ticks!

| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | 2 | Bad Hair Puns & Barber Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Pick-Up Lines |
| Painful Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Shoe Groans | Furniture Jokes | Psychic Puns | Weather Puns |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groan Puns | Light Bulb Groaner Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Pirate Hookup Lines |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Cents-Less Jokes |
| Gambling Jokes, Poker Puns | Circus Jokes, Creepy Clowns | Colorful Jokes, Off-Color Puns |


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You've moaned on this far, so here's even more agonizing humor,
tormenting jokes, groaner giggles and painful puns that hurt so good:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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| Galactic Groans | Hot Dog Jokes | Humor That Sucks | Manly Man Puns | Music Jokes | Relationship Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Supervillain Jokes | Turdy Puns | Weed Jokes | Zombie Jokes |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Monstrously Funny Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
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